For a lot of families out there in this day and age life is a lot different than when we were kids. There are more and more separations, divorces, and single parent families out there than years ago. This has lead to parents being pushed into parenting their children with their former spouses, now of course this means that these former spouses have to set aside their differences, get along, and be on the same page when it comes to the kids.
I have heard stories of people that could not get past their own relationship issues to be able to be successful at co-parenting their kids and to be quite frank that is not acceptable. I feel so fortunate that my ex and I have always and will always put our kids first, sure we have disagreements about each other but the bottom line is that when it comes to the kids we are a co-parenting unit. If she says no to them for something and they come to me thinking they will get a yes out of dad the answer is still going to be no.
A funny story comes to mind about this. I was on vacation with the kids and my daughter was acting up a bit (being a little on the bratty side which I do not tolerate), so I sent her to her room and told her she could come out once she was ready to start being nice again. She would try to come out and I would send her back in, she cried, said she hates me, and then started to say in a sobbing voice “Mommy, mommy”. I opened the door and gave her my phone and said “go ahead call mommy, do you think she would appreciate the way you are acting??” She went back into the room and eventually came back out ready to be nice again.
So once I get back home and their mom comes to pick the kids up I tell her the story. To my surprise my ex tells me that when our daughter gets in trouble with her and goes to her room she does the same thing except she says “Daddy, daddy”. We both cracked up and came to the realization that these kids of ours are testing us constantly and we have to show a united front as parents. I am so happy to have such a great co-parenting relationship with their mother, we may not have been the right people for each other but we sure to make a great team when it comes to our kids.
I really think that for the good of everyone parents that separate really need to make sure that they can work together as parents. It is a shared responsibility and your children are going to need the both of you on their journey to adulthood, so no matter how many issues you may have with your former spouse people need to check their issues and egos at the door when it comes to being an effective co-parenting team!!
I have to admit it has been a busy and fun summer and I haven’t had much time to spare to write. The summer has been fantastic for both myself and the kids, the hot weather here in Ottawa certainly helped for sure and the cool breeze we had on our trip in Newfoundland was certainly bit of relief from that heat.
Today is Wednesday and to most that is called hump day, the middle of the week, and so on. To me it is truly my favorite day of the week, reason being is that it is the day I get to pick up the kids from their mom and spend time with them. Being in a co-parenting relationship certainly has its perks, you have additional freedom when the kids are with the other parent and of course you have that quality time with the kids when it is your turn. I have my two with me 50% of the time and love every single second of it. I am the type of dad that doesn’t want to miss a thing and when my kids are with me there is no event that will tear me away from them (hence I don’t get babysitters). As far as I am concerned this is our time together, the rest of the world can wait.
I was actually having a conversation with a friend of mine about this today. While we were chatting she mentioned that not all dad’s have the same attitude as me. I was quite surprised and a little saddened to hear that, she mentioned that there are dad’s that don’t share my attitude about their kids. My response to her was quite simple “Those dads are the ones that haven’t yet realized how important the time you have with your kids are”. There are people out there that manage to find other priorities out there instead of their kids and unfortunately for them in the long run you are only hurting yourself. You see I have a niece back home in Newfoundland, she is the same age as my son and her mother (my sister) passed away after a long battle with cancer when my niece was just little more than three years old. She was an amazing person and mom to that little girl (and still is wherever her spirit is), she dedicated herself to her daughter and as I see my kids go through things (first day of school, losing a tooth, etc) as happy as I am to see these things as a dad, as a brother I am sad knowing that my sister who loved her daughter more than anything in the world isn’t there to see her daughter have these experiences. So for me to hear that there are truly parents out there that take these things for granted, whether for careers, stress, or just plain not having an interest in their child or children I really had to take a step back. How can that even be possible? Do they not realize that this could all be taken away from them in an instant??
I guess my reason for sharing this today is the hope that maybe some people read it, some share it, and maybe just maybe it will reach a person that needs to hear it. You need to hold on to every single special moment you have with those you love especially your children because someday it could be taken away. So to all the fathers out there, I know most who read this blog have the same attitude as mine, and to those who don’t I hope you can change yours before it is too late, go upstairs right now and hug that son or daughter of yours. Tell them that their dad loves them more than anything in the world and remember to make everyday your favorite day.